Hodge-Podge

*I kind of think the partners here think I am an idiot. In reality, maybe I just don't always dig accounting. Some days it's fine. Other days, I just think "what a waste of time."

*My birthday is Saturday. I'm looking forward to turning 25. 24, as a whole, was kind of a dark, crappy year. It shouldn't have been. I was pregnant for the bulk of it and my son was born. And that is great (and great is such an understatement). But the rest of the year can suck it.

*Each time I come here, to blog, I think "what happened, no one comments anymore." And it's not like "oh no, people think I'm boring." I just like the community of bloggers. Then I wake up and realize I haven't really been commenting much either.

*Today I'm in a funk. Not really a bad mood or a bad day. Just one of those can't shake it kind of clouds, I guess. It's better than an all out bad day, but it's irritating. I started this day thinking how bad my hair looked-perhaps these two things are connected? Do you ever have a day where nothing seems quite "right"? Everything is just somewhat off? It all started with the hair. (I just realized that I am sitting here making an incredibly sour face. Geez. I wish I had a sure fire mood lifter to do in this office.)

*I'm actually kind of hating my hair fully at this point. It's a weird length. Bangs cut weird that I'm trying to grow out. I hate putting it up, because I just look like a bum. But leaving it down is so much work. I just want it to be long and pretty, but I have ages until that happens. In the meantime I'm fighting the urge to go in and say "chop it all off" because I seriously hate it.

*You know how people do New Year's Resolutions? Yeah, I've never actually stuck to them. But I'm thinking of doing Birthday Resolutions. I'm quite tired of starting projects/diets/ideas and never finishing them. I'm sick of being halfway organized, halfway mess. I feel like I've failed at New Year's Resolutions so often, why not try something new? I've got between now and Saturday to come up with them. I'm so tempted to make a huge list. That is so me. Make a huge list and not follow through on any. I think I am going to make 5. Five that matter and stick to those.

*One of those resolution is going to be to lose weight. I am pretty unhappy with my weight/figure. I am still really proud of the progress I've made since giving birth. The scale is much lower. Lower than pre-pregnancy. But, I was overweight then anyway. It's higher than I want it to be. And pregnancy changed my shape. Even though I weigh a good 20 pounds less than I did before getting pregnant, I am still in the same size pants. Looking in the mirror is not fun my friends. Not fun at all.

*I want to LOVE my job. And I so want that to happen with my current job. So much of my hesitation with it is how much I still don't know. I'm tired of asking questions and feeling unsure. I just want to be confident.

*Good Lord, that could be the motto for my whole life at the moment "I just want to be confident."