New Job

*Is going well so far. I don't know enough to be "busy" yet, but I anticipate it.

*The guy I am replacing appears to have been AWESOME at this job. I have a lot to live up to.

*He is currently in some sort of CFO program.

*Blogging (writing and/or READING) is prohibited in the handbook and punishable by termination. I am so curious as to what happened to cause THAT you know?

*Because of said note in handbook I am SCARED to get online much at all. I checked the weather and was all "oh crap, I hope that's okay?"

*Same with email. My boss was gone for two days so there was little to nothing for me to do besides sit there and look pretty (haha). So I sent an email to a friend and then was worried.

*Regardless of all that, I am enjoying it. I love my boss, she is just so awesome.

*Now if I could just fast-forward through the whole "learning the systems phase"

*Also. Must find time to blog at home now, obviously.

*Had gotten so used to Partners giving dirty looks any time I talked to ANYONE that it has messed with my mind. My boss was talking to me about Grey's Anatomy and I kept thinking "I hope no one gets mad about this", then realized it was my BOSS and this was OKAY.

Crazy with a Side of Insane

Running is something that I have never enjoyed. More accurately it's something I've avoided with a passion. I can't recall the last time I ran anywhere, much less voluntarily.

Yet, I've always been jealous of runners. Jealous of people who say they love running. Jealous of those who can't stand to miss a run. I want to be one of those people. Today things are changing. That's right. I'm on a mission. A crazy mission that I haven't even told anyone else about because it is so out of character for me. I can guarantee you that there is no one who knows me that would believe I will do this. I am going to train myself to be a runner.

Maybe that's why I want to do it. I've chosen a task that I know will challenge me. It will be tough, possibly miserable. But, imagine it. . . if I find myself in shape and a runner a year from now? Last night I decided to lose 60 pounds in a year. One year from today I want to weigh 60 pounds less. When I went to sleep I wasn't sure how to get there. This morning I started thinking about running.

Then, I'm not kidding you, the preacher at church today kept talking about running. He asked who in the congregation had ever run a marathon. Part of me wants to do that. . . to run a marathon one of these days. Is that crazy? Is it even possible?

My Ipod is recharging and as soon as it finishes I'm going for a run. My goal is one mile. From there, we'll see where it goes. Maybe after my first test run I'll set my first goal.

While I can't quite wrap my mind around why I want to do this, the fact remains that I do want to do it. I want to be in shape. I know I want to transform my body. So I'm starting small. Very small, to be sure. I know that to most people running a mile is no big deal. To me, it's a HUGE deal. I don't know if I've ever run a mile. But I'm going to attempt it in a matter of minutes. I'll be back to let you know how it goes.

Moving Right Along

It's my last day working here. Obviously I'm not sad. Yesterday was the exit interview and it felt good to speak my mind. There are people I will miss, but we can always meet for lunch. I am just incredibly excited about my new job. I can't wait until Monday.

In other news, my sister, her husband, and her four kids just moved to Texas. They live on my parents land, about an hour from here. Tomorrow I'm going down to visit and I'm excited about that too. My sister's youngest is a year older than Aidan and I'm hoping they'll play with each other.

Well. . . it's about half an hour left before my "goodbye" lunch and then it's downhill from there.

I GOT IT!

I got the hospital job!!!!!

It's a good day.

Birthday Pictures

Birth Day to Birthday

July 28th 2009.

It was hot. We drove a half hour to our last weekly doctor visit. The prior week our doctor had told us we could talk about a day to induce at this visit. We were so excited. Would it be this week? How soon would he want to induce?

After the doctor checked me out he indeed said we could induce either "tomorrow or the next day." Which we would prefer? Tomorrow! Let me tell you, knowing that I had less than 24 more hours of being pregnant in the horrible Texas heat was priceless.

We drove home, calling people informing them of the news all along the way. Tomorrow's the day. It was around 4 in the afternoon. We had to be at the hospital at 7 am.

On our last night as not-quite-parents we went to Outback Steakhouse to eat dinner with our inlaws. We went back to their house and played Phase 10. Everyone went to bed, but I could barely sleep. I was excited about the baby coming, but also extremely nervous.

July 29, 2008

I think I slept two or three hours, but I was up by 5:00. With nothing else to do I played around online for a little while, waiting on the time to come.

By 6:15 we were out the door. My husband, my mother-in-law and I were en route to the hospital. My husband was wound up. He was singing and seemingly taking the longest route ever to the hospital. All of this, of course, got on my nerves because I was nervous. NERVOUS. I know I wasn't saying much.

When we got checked into the hospital I changed into the hospital gown and remember wishing I could keep my bra on, but they said I couldn't. I get into the hospital bed and waited a few minutes. At nearly 7 on the dot the doctor came in and broke my water. They started pitocin. And, the wait was on.

The contractions weren't too bad at first, just uncomfortable. By 10 am, my father in law, grandmother in law, mother, and my mom's friend had all arrived as well. The room was bustling with energy. I was still very quite. From the nerves. Sometime in that hour the contractions got worse and the nurse gave me a dose of something (I forget the name now) in my IV.

My vision went fuzzy for a moment. And then it started. The uncontrollable laughing. I had been lying there, in a dazed silence for three hours. But, now I was laughing like a fool. Everyone in the room was looking at me like "what, what's so funny?" My husband asked if I could get some of that medicine to take home, I was in such a good mood.

The Price Is Right was on tv and someone had just one a year's supply of laundry detergent. The humor in this was obviously too much for me. I told everyone who entered the room "Can you believe that? Someone goes on The Price is Right expecting to win big and they come home with laundry detergent."

Also, The Dark Knight was pretty big last summer. My husband was playing solitare and the jokers were sitting out. I said to him "wouldn't it be hilarious if the baby comes out and is all 'here's my card'?"

The drugs finally wore off. But I wasn't feeling so silent any more. The tension broke. I was hungry. Someone brought in a gift basket of snacks. I vowed to eat some as SOON as it was all over. I couldn't wait to eat.

I don't remember what time I got the epidural. But, I do remember being a big baby about it. And, no it wasn't that bad. As far as I can recall. I cried though, because I was so scared of it. Once that was over it was smooth sailing for awhile.

Since the labor was induced and I had the epidural, I don't remember labor being excrutiatingly painful or anything until near the end. I do remember the pain of contractions though, even through the epidural and I admire anyone who does this without drugs.

Eleven hours later they told me it was time to push. By 6:00 that evening there were about a million people there waiting on Aidan to be born. My parents and in-laws. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, you name it. Friends of the family even. They were all ushered out into the waiting room.

Next door, a lady was having an emergency C-section. That is where my doctor was. It was me, my husband and the nurse. There was some machine that kept beeping when it wasn't supposed to. I believe a cord was loose. Whatever it was, it was ANNOYING. I wanted to get up out of the hospital bed just to throw that machine out. the. window.

I pushed. And pushed. And pushed some more. For an hour. AN HOUR. I was so tired and at this point the pain came through. I didn't think the baby was ever going to come out. Finally the c-section next door was over and my doctor came in. Along with three or four other nurses. Things went very quickly from there, in comparison anyway. The baby still wasn't budging though. The doctor said he'd have to use the vaccuum and if that didn't work forceps.

It was like and "oh, hell no" moment for me. I did not want them using forceps on my baby. I don't know if that vaccuum would have worked either way, but using all the energy I had left I pushed and out he came. Twelve hours after we had arrived at the hospital. He was amazing. Beautiful and perfect.

I held him for just a second it seemed and they let me kiss him and then they took him away.

I should have realized then that something was wrong. They told us in our birthing classes that the baby would be in the room for about an hour if everything was ok. In all the confusion I must have forgotten.

Suddenly, the room was empty. Just me and nurse cleaning me up. It wasn't like I was deserted or anything--I know everyone told me what was going on and where they were going. I just don't remember. But I was hungry and the nurse finally gave me some crackers from the gift basket. I ate them and she left the room. I threw up.

When I called the nurse she said "oh, yeah sometimes that happens if you eat too soon." I wish I'd have known.

No one was telling me what was going on with the baby. My parents came in to see me. And then my husband was back. Someone, I don't know who, it's all a blur came to let me know that the baby's breathing was a little strange, grunty, and they were having another doctor check him out. They were worried he may have problems with his lungs. They might have to ship him to a different hospital.

I can't put into words the amount of "scared" that I felt. I was worried I had done something wrong, maybe if I hadn't taken so long to push him out. Maybe if we hadn't induced. What was going on?

They didn't have to ship him anywhere. They put him on monitors in NICU. They told me to get some sleep. I think I must have gotten a little sleep. Around midnight they let us go into the NICU to see him. He was so small and precious. He was hooked up to so many monitors. They said to try not to disturb him to much. All I could do was look. I was afraid to touch him. I think I may have rubbed his little foot.

After the Birth Day:

We found out the next day that he was okay. He didn't have fluid in his lungs or anything, he was fine. He was monitored in the hopsital, but by the third day he wasn't even in NICU anymore and we got to go home.

(About two weeks after he was born we found out he has laryngomalacia. It's a condition where the larynx is too soft. I think this is why his breathing sounded grunty and the doctors were worried. It's not a serious worry. The doctor said he'll be fine and grow out of it. And he is doing just that.)

Overall, my experience with the hospital was good. All the nurses were great, except the one who dealt with me right after delivery. With all that was going on I should have informed of all that was going on quicker. And giving birth was amazing.

I appreciate that the doctors took concern over him so quickly. I was obviously scared to death, but am relieved to know he was fine. I much prefer them taking the safe route and having him monitored and him turning out fine over them doing nothing and something going wrong. That experience was scary, but it made us parents. Right then.

I cannot believe that this memory is from a year ago. My tiny baby is now turning one. He is crawling and babbling and into everything. He wears a size 4 shoe and 12 to 18 month clothes. He loves babyfood (fruit and sweet potatoes only), but hates real food. He's learing how to use his sippy cup. He always wants to be moving. He likes his swing, watching the dog play, and is possibly a little spoiled about being held. He likes the theme song to Two and Half Men and dances when he hears "Thriller". He seems to prefer his Tigger toys and watches Handy Manny. He sleeps through the night and amazes me with what a brave little guy he is. He has the sweetest smile you have ever EVER seen and I can honestly say that I've never known a baby, or anyone for that matter, who is as happy as he is.

Our first year has gone by so fast. This little guy made us a family. He's brought us so much happiness. The tiny baby who would sleep on my chest? I'll miss him. But this guy? This toddler with the personality? I am having so much fun with him. I can't wait to see what he'll do next.

The Big 1!

Big day tomorrow. Aidan turns one! I am so excited for his first birthday.

We are starting the day with a trip to the doctor. He'll get weighed and measured and then some shots. Hopefully he is as brave about those as he's been about his other shot visits. He cries a little, but mostly he's a tough little guy.

A little while after that we have an appointment for his one year birthday photo session at Sears. I just decided on that this morning and was really glad they had an opening. Now I just have to decide what to have him wear.

Later tomorrow night both sets of grandparents are coming over for dinner. I'm making Baked Pasta with (Chicken?) Sausage. The recipe calls for chicken sausage. I'm hoping I can find that, if not I'm going to use turkey sausage. I'm adding a salad and garlic bread.

His real party is Saturday at 1. First party on the 1st at 1, see?